Given that almost three years have passed since the last Harry Potter Book went on sale it is hardly surprising that an exceptional degree of eagerness has manifested itself regarding June 21^st 2003, the release date of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Among the groups who have evidenced the highest amount of anxiety, who may we say is truly the most anxious?
    The likely candidates in this case may be identified into four succinct groups, young readers, older readers, Scholastic Inc., and three teenagers and a 44 year old man in Suffolk England.
    As newspapers reported worldwide, Suffolk police "arrested three teenagers and a 44 year old man late Wednesday night. The four are suspected of stealing first edition copies of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" from the book’s printer, Clays Ltd." This theft would certainly seem to qualify this group for our consideration. On closer inspection, however, the fact that the stolen copies were found by a walker "in a field near Clays" and the fact that a 44 year old man was involved along with three teenagers, makes the incident reek rather of stupidity and wretchedness than anything permissible under the heading of genuine eagerness.
    In order to assess the eagerness of area readers, persons signing up in advance for copies of the book at our store were asked to rate their "degree of impatience for June 21^st on a scale of 1-10." The difference between adults and children was not pronounced, however we did note that more adults placed themselves underneath the 10 range, than did children, of whom there were only two. Of those two we further noted that one crossed out her answer several times before writing 0 along with a note that she would "be back July 14^th. "A soul in anguish I mean to say.
    On the other hand, while the mean average for children was well over ten, the mean average for adults was beyond infinity. These high numbers reflect the fact that a large number of adult respondents saw fit to extend the scale somewhat to better reflect their feelings. Only four children recorded a number beyond ten, two quite moderately, 10.1 and 11.5, respectively, though there was one "ten gazillion." Appallingly, we found that this type of rule breaking was not only a common practice among adults, but even an egregious one, as the following entries make clear, 8,522, 10 to the millionth power, 4+ (beyond infinity), and so forth. Our conclusion then is that while a greater percentage of children are in a high state of eagerness, adults appear to be more fanatical.
    Scholastic Inc., the publisher of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, has also been able to gauge its eagerness for June 21^st in numbers. The unexpectedly long gap between books resulted in a drastic over projection in income over the last year. A weak January in their trade and school book club divisions, combined with cutbacks in school funding and the drastic fall off in Harry Potter sales, has led Scholastic to announce that it has eliminated 400 positions effective immediately. According to Publisher’s Weekly, "Scholastic is hoping to show dramatically better results in fiscal 2004 which will include sales from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix."
    This news inclines one to place Scholastic at the head of the list, out of respect for the 400 people who lost their jobs, and who are therefore unable to say ‘better late than never.’ After Scholastic we will call it a tie between young and old readers and place three teenagers and a 44 year old man in Suffolk England out of the running.